The Queens Speech

The Queens Christmas Speech

As my family and I sit around a blazing log fire

after eating our sumptuous Christmas dinner

our thoughts and words were about my subjects

and the dire poverty my government has caused

to the disabled and so called underclass..

That dear Mr Cameron tell me that we are all in it

together and after we stop laughing at his stupid

jokes I remind the oaf that I am the Queen and he

is my servant in Parliament and he is getting above

his station  in the pecking order, as I remind him not

to associate me with the plebs of my kingdom...

But on a more serious note, one should think one is

lucky that you have a royal family who even thinks

about poverty and kids going to bed hungry and all

that peasant stuff and as I told my Prime Minister

if they are hungry let them eat cake, then the stupid

oaf  has the arrogance to interrupt his monarch with

a story about some frog bitch called Marie Antoinette

who said the same thing!....

My family and I will make savings to placate you plebs

in so much as I reduce the servants wages in line with the

minimum wage and make a charge for rent when they use

the royal horse stables to sleep in, further  more I will tell

Charles to cut down on his household budget and sack one

or two of his personal valets who wipe his backside and

squeeze his toothpaste on his brush., that sort of thing should

be the job of  Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall...

Your Queen is above this common chit chat of poverty and

hunger for I leave this mundane stuff for my ministers to

sort out and I have asked the BBC not to show programmes

of run down housing estates and starving people queuing for

food parcels and children with Rickets and Scurvy picking up

scrap food in gutters.....Tis a bad image to show the tourist who

come to see your monarchy in all its regal rich splendour and

 not this nations starving poor, who are in the main feckless

and work shy, so my minister Ian Duncan Smith informs me

There is no message of hope I can give you, but soon there will be

another royal mouth to feed and you must pander to its every need,

that alone should lift your sprites and give praise that we have added

one more privileged soul to our vast numbers who now grace the

the United Kingdom with our royal dynasty.......

Merry Christmas...