Follow by Email

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

The Queens Speech

The Queens Christmas Speech

As my family and I sit around a blazing log fire
after eating our sumptuous Christmas dinner
our thoughts and words were about my subjects
and the dire poverty my government has caused
to the disabled and so called underclass..

That dear Mr Cameron tell me that we are all in it
together and after we stop laughing at his stupid
jokes I remind the oaf that I am the Queen and he
is my servant in Parliament and he is getting above
his station  in the pecking order, as I remind him not
to associate me with the plebs of my kingdom...

But on a more serious note, one should think one is
lucky that you have a royal family who even thinks
about poverty and kids going to bed hungry and all
that peasant stuff and as I told my Prime Minister
if they are hungry let them eat cake, then the stupid
oaf  has the arrogance to interrupt his monarch with
a story about some frog bitch called Marie Antoinette
who said the same thing!....

My family and I will make savings to placate you plebs
in so much as I reduce the servants wages in line with the
minimum wage and make a charge for rent when they use
the royal horse stables to sleep in, further  more I will tell
Charles to cut down on his household budget and sack one
or two of his personal valets who wipe his backside and
squeeze his toothpaste on his brush., that sort of thing should
be the job of  Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall...

Your Queen is above this common chit chat of poverty and
hunger for I leave this mundane stuff for my ministers to
sort out and I have asked the BBC not to show programmes
of run down housing estates and starving people queuing for
food parcels and children with Rickets and Scurvy picking up
scrap food in gutters.....Tis a bad image to show the tourist who
come to see your monarchy in all its regal rich splendour and
 not this nations starving poor, who are in the main feckless
and work shy, so my minister Ian Duncan Smith informs me
There is no message of hope I can give you, but soon there will be
another royal mouth to feed and you must pander to its every need,
that alone should lift your sprites and give praise that we have added
one more privileged soul to our vast numbers who now grace the
the United Kingdom with our royal dynasty.......

Merry Christmas...    

No comments:

Post a Comment